Wedding 9

I've said this before, but it bears repeating. Performing weddings for friends is much more fun than for people I don't know. On December 5, 2009, I provided the ceremony for two colleagues from work. The bride had worked as my administrative assistant extraordinaire for the past few years, and her husband-to-be was in my larger group at work, but I had never met him.

A few weeks before the wedding, I met the couple at their newly-built house to discuss details. Although they had been together for a number of years, they had not been in any hurry to get married. That is, until a happy pregnancy occurred. After a tour of the house, we sat down to a snack of home-made egg rolls to talk about the ceremony. Although the wedding was to be relatively small, the couple wanted to include a number of personal touches. The groom would welcome the guests, a young niece and nephew would give readings, and the couple would recite their own vows. Most significantly, there would be a candle-lighting ceremony to honor the groom's mother who had recently passed away.

When the big day arrived, it was cold and rainy outside, but warm and toasty inside. The wedding was held at what had once been a statuesque and historic hotel, but had fallen into disrepair. It had recently been renovated with shops on the street level, apartments where the hotel rooms used to be and in the middle, a beautifully restored ballroom. The buttery yellow walls, ornate moldings and floor-to-ceiling windows created a stunning background to an even more beautiful bride.

The ceremony was intimate and thanks to the customization the couple worked into it, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Now the couple is preparing to welcome their daughter and add more pictures to their family album.

Wedding 8

I have now been privileged to perform weddings for two friends, both of whom are colleagues from work. On 06-07-08 (an easy date to remember, said the groom) I performed the second one. The bride had relocated to Connecticut after uprooting herself from a lifetime in Michigan. The groom had been in the area for a while, and although we all work for the same company, the two might not have met without the intervention of yet another colleague in New York.

The wedding was intimate, once again taking place in the chapel at Olde Mystick Village. This time however, a friend had decorated it with candles and flowers, transforming it from a simple structure to something more magical. Yet another friend provided beautiful background music on the piano - all simple things that created a lovely atmosphere.

The groom's son stood for his father, and the friend who orchestrated the fix-up stood for the bride. A family friend read a poem, the ceremony was performed and voila! The marriage was sealed. After the ceremony, we all went to a local restaurant to celebrate and ended the evening back at the bride's home for cake and champagne.

This may be my last wedding for a while as sometime this summer, I head to Kenya for six months. More on that later...

Wedding 7

It's a sad state of events when sudden weddings no longer occur due to pregnancy, but rather due to the need for health insurance. I received a call from a woman who was planning on getting married in September, but due to a recent job loss, and a more impending need for medical tests, she and her fiance decided to move the date up in order to get health insurance coverage.

January 20, 2007 was a bitterly cold day, however the couple's home was nice and toasty. As this was a second marriage for both, the couple was attended by their children and grandchildren. It was a very nice family affair, filled with laughter. As the couple attempted to repeat their vows, I was reminded that I need to rewrite my ceremony - there is one phrase that is a killer tongue-twister that needs to be removed!

After the ceremony was completed, we shared delicious home-made cake. The couple still plans a larger ceremony and reception in September.

Wedding 6

On September 10, 2006, I conducted my largest wedding to date, at an actual venue - the Meeting House in Olde Mystic Village. Having arrived at the chapel early, I met a woman who was setting up a guitar and amplifier. She explained that she was a co-worker of the bride and had been asked to sing a processional. The guests started to arrive, dressed in their finery. As I hadn't met the bride and groom prior to the wedding, I wasn't exactly sure who I was waiting for. The couple had explained that this would be a small (20 people), casual wedding, but given that description and it being a Saturday afternoon, the guests were very over-dressed.

The chapel filled with the guests and finally the couple arrived. The guitarist started singing a song - poorly - as the couple entered the meeting house. The bride looked beautiful in a light brown satin beaded dress. The groom looked handsome in a well-fitting suit and it finally dawned on me that I had to give more of a "show" than I had for my living room weddings.

I welcomed the guests, spoke a bit about it being a quintessential New England day in a quintessential New England setting before starting the ceremony. I had earlier explained to the couple that my ceremony is very short - about 5 minutes - and they were fine with that. However, after completion of the ceremony, the guests looked stunned. They had clearly been expecting more, having most likely taken longer to brush their teeth than witness the wedding. I expected the musician to play the couple out of the chapel, but she had already packed up her equipment and was walking out the door, leaving the group with an awkward silence. It was an anti-climatic ending to the ceremony, although the couple looked happy and was anticipating spending time with their friends later that afternoon.

Wedding 5

On August 12, 2006, I performed a wedding for a colleague from work. He and his fiance had both moved to the same coast, after years of bi-coastal dating. The bride and groom are both from East Asia, and their families will prepare a traditional religious wedding celebration for them in the winter, but until then, a civil ceremony was in order. The ceremony was held in their living room on a muggy, rainy summer day, but the couple was cool and collected and looking forward to their new life together.

Wedding 4

Yesterday I performed a ceremony for a really nice couple. It almost takes the fun out of it when it’s nice and normal. These folks met about eight years ago at a party. They’re from NY, but moved to CT about a year ago because the bride’s job took her here. Believe it or not, the groom is another mailman. I think I’m becoming the JP to the postal service.

Anyway, I met with them a few weeks ago to discuss what they wanted and just really liked them. They decided to just go ahead and get married and didn’t want to get families involved because they would take over. The couple, Jen and Eric, wanted something simple. So it was something simple they got. We did it late in the afternoon at a beach in Stonington overlooking Long Island Sound. It was a gorgeous day – bright, sunny, breezy and not humid. It couldn’t have been nicer. The bride looked really pretty. She wore a non-traditional, really lovely green cocktail dress with a little sparkle, a little satin and a little flowy something chiffony. To complete the look, she wore matching green sparkly flip flops that looked great. The groom wore a suit and looked a little uncomfortable, but made up for it because he couldn’t stop smiling. They were accompanied by the bride’s brother and wife and the groom’s best friend and wife.

The ceremony itself is quick – just about 4 minutes. The bride said her own vows which were very earnest (and well-written!) Eric had told me earlier that he wasn’t very good at expressing himself and was happy with the standard vows, but they were no less heartfelt. After sealing the deal with a kiss (the bride and groom, not me!), we all shared some champagne. I was surprised that we didn’t seem to attract much attention from the beachgoers, but I guess nothing surprises anyone anymore. It was by far the nicest wedding I’ve done because it felt the most legitimate. Something about doing it in your own living room seems to take away from the official-ness of the event. I also genuinely liked the couple, so that made it nice, too.

Wedding 3

Nothing strange about this one. A new colleague at work asked me to officiate at his civil ceremony. He and his fiance had been together for six years, but for nearly half of that, they lived on opposite coasts. Thanks to a new, conveniently located job, the groom was able to move across the country, and finally tie the knot.

Although it was a miserably rainy afternoon, the bride looked beautiful, the groom calm and the wedding went off without a hitch. The couple will travel to India and Thailand in the winter to participate in religious ceremonies where both families can celebrate.

Wedding 2

Well, it seems as if I'm going to be the Queen of the Quickie, in terms of odd weddings.

Once again, I got a call just two days before the wedding asking if I could officiate. In a brief conversation with the bride, she said that the JP that was originally scheduled was no longer in the picture. I didn't ask her to elaborate, but it made me curious. And things got curiouser and curiouser.

When I asked the bride and groom's names, I was surprised to learn they both had the same last name. With visions of a brother/sister couple in my head, I cautiously probed as to how that could be. Much to my relief, I was told that they had been married to each other before, and were now ready to do it again.

A Wednesday night wedding is also a curious thing, but at least this one wasn't at my house. I arrived at the couple's home at 7:00, coming straight from my evening swim. A teenaged girl opened the door and grunted, "Come on in." As I entered the living room, a middle-aged man dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt stood up an introduced himself. Another teenaged girl turned the TV up louder. Pepper the dog was intrigued and seemed to be getting high sniffing my chlorine-perfumed ankles. A woman then appeared in a cream lace blouse and skirt, looking every bit the beautiful, but harried bride.

The family was friendly (especially Pepper), but somewhat unprepared. After explaining that witnesses are not required in CT, they still were on the fence whether to ask their neighbors to come over. Apparently, they didn't know them well because it took them a while to find their last name and phone number and finally sent one of the kids next door to get them. Unfortunately, the neighbors had other things on their minds - the wife was 8 months pregnant and her husband was shipping out to Iraq in the morning. The last thing on their minds was unnecessarily witnessing a stranger's wedding.

Once that got settled, there was the matter of the rings. The bride said she had been looking for them all day, but couldn't find them. The groom said he knew where they were, and went upstairs to begin the hunt. After a few minutes of rummaging, he gave up. No witnesses, no rings - this will be really fast.

I was asked to begin the ceremony and the kids were asked to shut off the TV. Again, after just a few mere minutes, the ceremony was complete and another couple was happily wed. Or so I hope this time. They explained that they had been married for over 20 years, but divorced four years ago. It occurred to them however that this was a mistake. What they really needed was just a break from one another, not a permanent severance. The family offered me celebratory cake and champagne which I declined, and as I headed out the door, I could hear the TV being turned back on.

Wedding 1

A few days ago, I got a message on my answering machine, "Hi, I'm calling about a JP. I got the list from Town Hall and saw your name on it and recognized it from my route. I'm your mailman. Please call me back."

My first wedding! I called the number and spoke with a very enthusiastic man. He explained that he was my mail carrier, and would prefer to have someone he knew perform his ceremony than a complete stranger. As luck would have it, I was in the middle of a dispute with the post office about mail delivery to my door and this couldn't have come at a better time. What a way to make an ally!

I asked when the wedding was and he said promptly, "This Saturday." That's a bit soon, but whatever. "Where is it being held?" I asked. At this, the postman hesitated. "Er... Your house?" What better place to get married than my backyard - the garden was in full bloom and the lawn bright green. I agreed to have the ceremony at the house, mentally noting that I would need to clean the house, mow the lawn, sweep the patio, weed the beds, move the outdoor furniture, and provide hors doerves. No sweat. Well, actually a lot of sweat - we were in the middle of a heat wave.

When the big day came, the house and yard sparkled. I had a bottle of wine chilled, snacks set out on a silver platter, and a disposable camera at the ready. The bride and groom arrived a bit late in a big white truck with a souped up muffler system. Or at least I think it made that roar on purpose. They introduced themselves and explained that they had been together for 13 years, but just decided to tie the knot in order for the bride to be on the groom's medical insurance. They had not included any family or friends because they really didn't think it was a big deal. I'm not so sure about that - the mailman couldn't stop grinning.

Both bride and groom were a bit nervous, but a glass (or two) of wine calmed them down. We chatted for a few minutes and then they said they wanted to get the show on the road - they were on their way to a family picnic and didn't want to be late. We all have our priorities.

I was a little nervous too, but refrained from wine, especially in the 100 degree heat. I got out my bright pink and turquoise book in which I had put the ceremony (no longer the standard one from the state - I made some severe modifications) and got started. At the exchange of the rings, both the bride and groom's hands shook, but in a good way. Within three minutes, they were pronounced husband and wife - it's that easy.

The happy couple then gulped down another glass of wine and said their goodbyes. And so that's the story of how I married my mailman.