Wedding 1

A few days ago, I got a message on my answering machine, "Hi, I'm calling about a JP. I got the list from Town Hall and saw your name on it and recognized it from my route. I'm your mailman. Please call me back."

My first wedding! I called the number and spoke with a very enthusiastic man. He explained that he was my mail carrier, and would prefer to have someone he knew perform his ceremony than a complete stranger. As luck would have it, I was in the middle of a dispute with the post office about mail delivery to my door and this couldn't have come at a better time. What a way to make an ally!

I asked when the wedding was and he said promptly, "This Saturday." That's a bit soon, but whatever. "Where is it being held?" I asked. At this, the postman hesitated. "Er... Your house?" What better place to get married than my backyard - the garden was in full bloom and the lawn bright green. I agreed to have the ceremony at the house, mentally noting that I would need to clean the house, mow the lawn, sweep the patio, weed the beds, move the outdoor furniture, and provide hors doerves. No sweat. Well, actually a lot of sweat - we were in the middle of a heat wave.

When the big day came, the house and yard sparkled. I had a bottle of wine chilled, snacks set out on a silver platter, and a disposable camera at the ready. The bride and groom arrived a bit late in a big white truck with a souped up muffler system. Or at least I think it made that roar on purpose. They introduced themselves and explained that they had been together for 13 years, but just decided to tie the knot in order for the bride to be on the groom's medical insurance. They had not included any family or friends because they really didn't think it was a big deal. I'm not so sure about that - the mailman couldn't stop grinning.

Both bride and groom were a bit nervous, but a glass (or two) of wine calmed them down. We chatted for a few minutes and then they said they wanted to get the show on the road - they were on their way to a family picnic and didn't want to be late. We all have our priorities.

I was a little nervous too, but refrained from wine, especially in the 100 degree heat. I got out my bright pink and turquoise book in which I had put the ceremony (no longer the standard one from the state - I made some severe modifications) and got started. At the exchange of the rings, both the bride and groom's hands shook, but in a good way. Within three minutes, they were pronounced husband and wife - it's that easy.

The happy couple then gulped down another glass of wine and said their goodbyes. And so that's the story of how I married my mailman.